Sunday, November 17, 2019

So They "Fixed" Movie Sonic (Not Good Enough)

Rage time do doo doo do doo

Yeah so they 'fixed' Movie Sonic.
After the internet's huge & simultaneous outcry against the filthy hobgoblin creature in the original, and the stupid nonsensical song/s, they did something about it. But......it's still no good. Yes, the character model is better but that doesn't help several things, so it's still #notmysonic .

It doesn't fix that it's still "whacky cartoon and generic whiteguy antics vs the gubbermint"
It doesn't fix that Jim Carrey is still Jim Carrey and he isn't Eggman
It doesn't fix that "sonic" is SO SLOW that a stupid human can shoot him with a gun & HIT HIM
It doesn't fix the rubbish, generic plot that you can instantly know ALL OF just from 1 trailer

Wow yea, ET phone home, the live action smurfs, that robot dog movie that flopped in 2018, those "monster trucks movie (where monsters inhabit literal trucks)" where that flopped too, MAC & Me which is ancient, Bayformers movies 1 thru whatever, Pete's dragon, some aliens or cartoons come down and some boring guy (and it is always male, isn't it) has to run around with them while the government 'bad guys military' tries to take them away.
It's like...that plot is SO COMMON. SO TRITE!

But what's the biggest thing?
Splintering Sonic YET AGAIN! WHY!
Clearly nobody's thinking about this, but like STOP re-designing him! We literally just got over that stupid, awful, horrible bloody Boom Ban. It took yeeeeeears for that garbage to get the hell lost, we don't need another ban! Crappy movie merchandise infesting shelves, licenses getting taken away, NEVER SEEING FAVORITE CHARACTERS??? How about that? Do you like Tails? Think Knuckles is cool? Well then don't watch the movie in theaters!

Stuff with the potential to make money always stamps out other-stuff if it's not in that money-maker.
So, who's not there? Everybody else but Sonic.
If the movie does well enough, are they going to allow poor Jakks Pacific to keep making these "no good toys"? Because I guess Shadow is now 'no good' because he's not in the movie. Those authentic looking Eggmans? How about no more of those...no chao, no Rouge, no Chaotix, no nothing because we have to milk the movie for merch 24/7 and can't have those 'rubbish things' interfering or competing with it. And because it's manufacturing, everything takes complete ages to get back to normal.

About the only thing it's got going for it is that there's no game.
Boom having a game is probably about 50% responsible for the Boom Ban, so we may luck out even if all these people "going to see it irooooooooooniccccallly" make it actually get money and not go into the dumpster where it belongs. Of course there's the usual jibber-jabbering lies about that it won't disrupt anything blah blah you've got the racing game and yadda, but we all know that everyone will lie like a cheap rug because that's exactly what was said when Boom showed up. And then look what happened. It took literal YEARS to get modern characters back on merch again, and more ages to get them into games again--even though the boom games were awful bug filled nasty messes that nobody really liked. Only the show was good, and that's only because of the really good writing & self-awareness that it had. But whatever you think of boom/show/game, the end result was the same "no more non-boom modern characters".

The bottom line:
Snuff out this trashy cash-grab and AVOID THE MOVIE & DONT LET FRIENDS SEE IT
Make sure they make NO MONEY if you want to see...well, anything other than this ugly hairy chimp Sonic and no other character for the next 5 years.

Bottom Line Part 2:
I hope I'm wrong. I hope the plot isn't trite and stupid, and I hope it does not affect any merchandise at all. I hope there are no bans & no licenses are removed. I hope the movie just dries up and gets lost as expediently as possible. It's fair, it's boring, it's history, let's move on.
*So we can later on get a REAL Sonic movie where the whole thing is gorgeous CG, any/all characters can appear and the plot is 100% original. I mean, Sly Cooper is getting justice...maybe Sonic will some day if this thing just fades away.

Opinion Zone:
The Sonic is better but it's still a really ugly blue chimp. People are tricked into thinking it's good because the original was horrific. But imagine if this thing was the first shown of it, it'd of still gotten such a yelling.

The actual Gear content:
An actual theme for an update? Yep, finally again. This one was 'cozy fall'.
Because it's the Holiday season, companies are ramping up on 'stuff', so the site's inbox is actually pretty busy. The modern items are in full swing again, with classic style going just as strong. There's lots of characters all around on interesting items, and actual good design going on again. The update/s around here should be pretty satisfactory for everybody.

Next week:
Expect more plush, more pjs, and a couple of uncommon things