Monday, February 15, 2016

Sonic Movie Re-Announced Mood: Fear

Well, the announcement is going to overshadow anything in the Gear site update anyway so best to get along with it first.

They Re-Announced "that Sonic theater movie" again & that they're trying to produce something to release in 2018. That's basically all the news there is on it except for 1 critical and stupid fact "Its Live Action".

Wait wat.

That's why "current mood=fear"

1. Live action CAN BE OK for wacky comedy scenarios & characters.
The "Chipmunks" movies did ok, you may not approve of them or think they're hilarious but lots of kids did & they keep doing well enough to churn out sequels so that is actual proof they don't bomb. Roger Rabbit was ok too, he was a mystery/comedy, as was Space Jam action/comedy. The Smurfs weren't universally liked (or even chipmunks level), but somehow got the money for a sequel anyway & etc.
2. Live action can also not be ok in comedy situations:
See that weird flop "Hollywould"hardly anyone remembers, the fact that the live action Smurfs didn't bring them back permanently & loved into the public eye  & etc.

What's the common element?
Comedy. Nobody is taking the movies totally seriously. But Sonic is sort of serious in his own world. He's not this silly, wacky character. There ARE jokes. He CAN be funny. That's all fine, but his main direction is action & there are real stakes. If you make it a 'funny' thing, and lose the stakes it's not Sonic. If you have IRL situations taking this....completely can't fit into IRL character (noodle legs, giant head, single eye, whatever) seriously, you lose the stakes again because what the hell?  (The Alvin Chipmunks/smurfs & looney tunes are big eyed zany versions of animals, but Sonic does not look like anything. He is too abstract. His single cyclopian eye cannot even physics)

Live action dangers list:
Unfitting ugly CG Sonic
Can't take anything seriously
Plot is stupid because how does Earth fit in
They can't get Sonic's character right because he's a cartoon in IRL somehow
Lame gimmick to bring him out of his world and into 'this one'
Cringey human interactions with him
Intros yet another version of Sonic to stamp out Boom, Modern & Classic
Leaves out all other characters
Focuses on only other characters not Sonic
Sonic only appears in the movie for 5 minutes, much like the Bayformers Transformers
Repeats Sonic X with live action Chris Thorndyke
Contains Mary Sue & Gary Stu
Live action kids have to save Sonic with the power of friendship is magic!
Live action Eggman is unfitting (you know they're gonna try it)
Infinite more stupid things to put here

Very interesting back-story: Don't let Sonic be "The Sacrificial Lamb!"
As always, hoping for the best, but sometimes "genre" movies like 'a cartoon gets a movie' or 'a video game gets a movie' the first movie that gets done is often awful because the people who make movies don't understand the source material. Or the game has no real/not enough source material. The Mario Bros movie is the #1 example of it. The game had nothing to go on! Of COURSE the movie made no sense and was nothing like the game!

Do you remember the animated Transformers Movie?
It appeared while the show was popular. They wanted to use it to introduce new toys. That is good. They used the movie to KILL OFF (horribly) many loved characters within the first few minutes. They die in violent and stupid ways. The main & most generally beloved character died too. The villain got a more bland re-design after coming close to death. That is bad. Kids were just expected to "Forget About" all their characters they loved & just run out and buy new toys and it's money for everyone yaaaaaay!

This stupid plan failed HARD.
Kids were super upset. New guy wasn't as good as Prime. Movie didn't do so hot the instant the word got out (remember! pre internet!) that it'll make the prime target age audience burst into tears because money grubbing stupid.

What happened?
GI Joe, the movie that WAS TO come FIRST also had the main character Duke die. (For the same reason--new guy=new toys) But, because it hit a snag, it was released after the Transformers movie. Because the Transformers movie got panned for nuking tons of main characters and flipping out the kids...they did a voice-over that "Oh Duke went into a coma but he's fine and dandy now! We're so happy yayayayayay the end!" And...of course, Joe does better! Why? Because Transformers sacrificed itself by going first, thus giving them a chance to patch up Duke with a voice over, once they learned kids have the capability to care about something*.

Sly Cooper & Ratchet & Klank are getting movies too!
Disclaimer: I am not a fan of either of these. I have not played their games, but I am familiar with their characters, styles, animation & general genre. I think they are good properties, and I wish both of them well.
The difference is that they're both to be fully animated. That's how they belong & the fans (it seems) seem generally comfortable with the idea that these properties are getting a movie. If Sonic was announced to be completely animated movie, I too would be fine with it. After all, you can't judge until you hear more/see more, unless the premise is plain awful.

If Sonic goes first (as a movie)
"Oh Sonic live action flopped so hard remember that time he kissed a human girl Elise and it was just so icky?"
Every other property gets to learn from him while he gets dragged through the dirt/panned. He is the sacrificial lamb that TFs was.

I just don't want to see something terrible made of him because people didn't know what they're doing. Hopefully Sly or R&K gets released first, does really well all-animated & prompts someone to shift the Sonic movie. OR, it just gets scrapped. If it's not something good, I don't want anything at all.

*It seems really obvious that kids have the capability to care about characters.
Well, a long time ago, grownups did not believe this was true. They thought that kids were stupid and 'just anything' moving around on the screen' would entertain them. Things had to be 'dumbed down' for kids to understand. They also thought that kids could not tell quality apart from un-quality garbage & would be equally entertained by either. The content creators have had to be proven wrong about a zillion times, so...we'll see.